Five things you must give up in order to be genuinely happy

I began to think that I would never be genuinely happy when I reached my lowest point.

I was at my lowest point this year. I had to deal with a great deal of stress, difficulties, and disappointments—I mean a lot.

I became resentful and angry at the world—mad at life—because it was too much for me to handle.

And it seemed to me that I simply could not be happy right now.

I made a mistake there.

The problem is that you begin to lose sight of what really matters when you start concentrating all of your attention on the things you lack or on the negative things that have happened to you.

You begin to lose sight of the fact that happiness is not dependent on a circumstance, an event, an item, or a feat.

One can choose to be happy. We always have the option to choose, no matter what the circumstances.

Furthermore, it took me a very long time to really understand what that statement meant.

I have long equated happiness with my accomplishments and all of the wonderful things that have happened to me.

I've always believed that being happy entails not having any difficulties or worries.

I therefore believed that that was not happy when I reached my lowest point and nearly everything that could go wrong started to go wrong every day.

It dawned on me then that I didn't want to wake up every day to hatred, misery, and anger. I was aware that while I might not be able to alter my existing circumstances, I could alter how I responded to them.

Above all, I have the ability to alter my definition of happiness.

At that point, I began to let go of the things that just made me feel hurt, anxious, and miserable.

I gave up these five things in order to be happy

1. Letting up of the urge to be in charge at all times

I feel safe doing this since I am a control freak. I reasoned that since I was in charge, nothing could go wrong.

For example, I can always make plans B, C, and D, which provides me the assurance that everything will always go according to plan.

However, it doesn't. We can never be in control of everything, no matter how much we try to reject it.

There is no guarantee that things will always turn out the way we want them to.

And to be honest, the only result of always attempting to control everything is frustration.

Therefore, let's try to use everything that is outside our control as a chance for us to change and develop rather than worrying about everything and whining about how things didn't go as planned.

Keep in mind that we were never intended to be in charge of everything. Concentrate all of your energy on the things that you can control rather than squandering it on things that are beyond of your control.

I now let go, accept things as they are, and most importantly, am grateful for what I have rather than griping about my losses and the circumstances in my life.

2. Letting go of the desire to please everyone

Growing up, I was constantly trying to win over people, especially the individuals I cared about.

You see, I was always being compared to other people when I was a kid.

I recognized the terms "she's better than you," "smarter than you," and "nicer than you."

And I thought so. I so felt pressured to prove myself all the time as I grew up. must always go above and beyond to make an impression on others.

And it's really tiring to do that, I tell you. It is crippling.

And we do this occasionally. To feel loved and accepted, we all try to project this ideal of ourselves to the outside world.

However, the truth is that we should never attempt to impress everyone because we will never be able to do so.

Our entire focus should be on accepting ourselves, with all of our imperfections and complexity, rather than trying to impress the outside world.

Put an end to your façade. Wearing a mask is not necessary. You are sufficient in your own right and don't require validation from others.

You're intelligent enough. Enough. Enough strength. I want you to never forget that you are valuable in your own right!

3. Letting go of the urge to be correct all the time

I had a great need to be correct all the time. I wanted to show that I was correct regardless of the circumstances or the repercussions.

Naturally, though, I wasn't. However, I simply couldn't accept that I was mistaken. I simply couldn't bring myself to swallow my pride and stop defending my ego.

What did I learn from this? For the sake of being correct, I simply wound up causing harm to others and breaking up wonderful relationships.

It's simply not worth it; it merely made me feel a lot of pain and worry.

I've learned that sometimes choosing kindness and tranquility over doing the proper thing is simply so much nicer.

4. Letting go of the failure phobia

I was taught as a child that failure was a terrible thing and that making errors or failing meant I wasn't trying my hardest. And that at all costs, it is something that ought to be avoided.

After doing so, I came to the realization that I had put a significant portion of my ambition on wait because I was too scared of failing.

I settled simply because I was too scared of making a mistake.

I want you to keep this in mind now: Never let your fear of failing to prevent you from realizing your goals. Never allow it to stop you from pursuing the things that make your soul burn.

Not all failures are negative. Errors are not invariably terrible. It just indicates that you are making an effort and taking action.

Yes, it can hurt to fail sometimes. Sometimes it can completely upend your world. More often than not, though, failure also brings about growth, learning, and the opportunity to see things from a different angle.

5. Letting go of the urge to gripe about everything

I became impatient, resentful, and constantly angry after reaching my lowest point and experiencing setback after failure.

As soon as I wake up, I begin to focus all of my energy on everything negative, no matter how minor, and I whine about it.

I gripe about the negative aspects of things, and occasionally I even feel compelled to find the flaw in something positive in order to vent. It sounds stupid, doesn't it?

However, that isn't always the case. We begin to lose sight of everything positive and concentrate all of our energy on the negative when we are dealing with hardships, a lot of stress, and consecutive setbacks.

And I can assure you that I did not gain anything from doing this. I didn't feel any better after that. The situation remained unchanged.

Instead, I simply damage the people I care about because I don't appreciate what they do for me, and that only makes me feel worse.

Indeed, life can occasionally seem too much to handle, but if we allow ourselves to focus on all the bad things and our losses, we risk losing sight of what really matters.

For example, I began to lose sight of how fortunate I was to have a supportive and loving family when I was too preoccupied with whining about the things I didn't have.

Do what you need to do if you need to vent over something. Scream if you have to, and talk about it.

You are in charge, so don't allow it to take over and destroy your entire day!

Never forget that there is always something for which to be thankful, no matter what the situation.

You'll be happier the sooner you accept this.

I am aware that giving up these things is not something that happens quickly. I still have trouble with it, but that's alright. The important thing is that we keep trying.

Therefore, take each day and step one at a time, and attempt to let go of the things that are preventing you from being genuinely happy. You're capable!